Since writing my last post, Both Sides of the Coin, I’ve been thinking a lot about the snap judgments I make about people. I’m a very judgmental person. If I’m honest, which I’m trying to be, I have a pretty constant conversation going on in my head when I’m interacting with others in which I’m labeling and critiquing them.
“He sure has a chip on his shoulder.”
“I wonder how much money she spent on that outfit.”
“I can’t believe his wife let him out of the house wearing that shirt.”
“She is so rude. Who does she think she is?”
Who do I think I am?
Often mundane and petty. Sometimes hurtful and cruel. My mind passes judgements based on limited information that influences my perception of people and limits my ability to fully love and appreciate who they are.
That’s so sad.
I read a quote in a great book I just picked up called, Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make all of Life Better, by Brent Hansen. “We have no idea what is in someone else’s heart. We don’t know the backstory. We don’t know what’s happening in his mind. We don’t know how her brain works. We think we do, sure, but we don’t.”
WE DON’T KNOW THE BACKSTORY.
There is a reason why people are the way they are. There is a reason I am the way I am. If I know and understand these reasons, I am less likely to judge and am more likely to accept.
We need to take the time to tell and hear each other’s stories.
And when we know each other’s stories, we will be able to live and love more fully.